Heaven

Heaven stands before me
My eyes are grazed
By your beauty
Your radiance engulfs me
I want to be wrapped
By your warmth
Beauty and grace
Your soul shines through
Penetrating my heart

Filled With Love

Filled with love
So much to give
From now on
It’s how we’ll live
Two bodies will
Now become one
I look into your eyes
And come undone
My love for you
I have confessed
Lying next to you
I have been blessed
Filled with love
So much to give
Loving you
Makes me live
You look at me
With love sincere
I love you
So my dear
Filled with love
So much to give
From now on
It's how we'll live

Her

I must leave her awhile
My one, true love
Her beautiful green eyes
That reach into
The far off horizon
Her eyes as blue and as deep
As the ocean
I will miss her
My lovers fragrance is that
Of cherry blossoms
Forever in bloom
I will miss you
My one true love

You Are

You are
The centre of my universe
My gravity
The only piece
Of my universe that matters
Stars shine all around you
A galaxy of beauty infinite

Mother

After a long, peaceful sleep
She has awoken
Buds open in her honour
The sweet scent of rose
Fills the air
She has missed her children
The sun rises and sets
On her face
Mothers love is here

Date Night With Myself

Last night was a great evening!

After work I headed home in the sunshine while listening to my mp3 player. Got home and decided that I was going to treat myself in some way for making through an excrutiating day at work.

So, I showered and changed and made my way down Robson. Did some window shopping and couldn't really find anything that I wanted. That's the way it usually goes when I've got money burning in my pocket! lol I hopped on the skytrain and went to Metrotown as I was still bent on doing some retail therapy. It was not to be. Got back on the train, put my tunes as loud as I could handled and enjoyed the ride back into the city.

Walking up Davie street, I had worked up an appetite. So, I decided to go to my favorite restaurant, Bin 942. I was able to sit right in front of the kitchen. I was sitting on a barstool in front of the 2 chefs working. What a great treat to have front row seats! Let's just say the wine, beef tenderloin and chocolate suffle were a great way to start unwinding from a long day.

I feel like I'm starting to slip away from the creative energy. Think tonight I'm going to head to Opus and get some more supplies and work on a piece. I might try to do some poetry too. I've thought of some things that I want to write about, and I can't neglect it anymore. I read an article yesterday in one of the papers here and this guy (who could've been me) said that he was creative, but he couldn't leave his job because of the financial implications (just like me) and the columnist said, (and I'm paraphrasing) "use some of the money you're making to make art - get it going". That's exactly what I need to do. My focus isn't quite what it should be - and I know why. It's because I'm stuck in the god-awful miserable job that doesn't bring me one iota of satisfaction. I actually typed up my resignation today. I literally debated about leaving at lunch and not coming back. But, I have a little more respect. I'm going to email my boss tonight and give her my resignation.

Will update later. PEACE!

The winds of change are starting to blow....

Sometimes I have faith in myself, and other times I wish that I had more.

This is one of the most interesting times that I've had in my entire life. I'm on some sort of path and I'd like to think that most of the time I think that things will work out, and then a curve ball comes from out of nowhere and I have no idea what I'm doing. Someone told me that "to be on your own path and yet consider other paths, I think that is a balance hard to acheieve. You've got to be a patient person, a good listener and have a talent to compromise." I agree.

I know that writing poetry and painting is my passion and love. This is the most creative I've ever felt in my entire (almost) 36 years. I want to have faith that I could do these things I love and that my path would be clearer. My dream would be to do this full-time. To me it's not about money, glamour or prestiege. I believe 100% that when you find your calling and doing it, everything will fall into place. You might not be making a six figure salary or travel the world, but you will be at peace with yourself, and be happy. I'm trying how to fit this belief into my being and life. Guess it's part of the journey. Sometimes I wish that it would just hurry up and happen. I'd like to believe that I have enough faith in myself that I could do it - art could - no wait - SHOULD be my life. Maybe it's because I have all of this flux in my life right now. I'm trying to simplify, but I don't want to be a starving artist either!

I must have faith in myself.

I Was Born Ready

born ready
following the road - sometimes in the dark
so many forks in the road
everything has brought me
to there here and now
waiting for it to come
i'm open to good things happening

born ready
at this place and time
i can feel it approaching
it will happen because
i was born ready

Roses

This is the latest piece of work. An abstract painting of red roses. What do you think?

Scent

floating
feeling as light as a feather
my body is covered
in your scent
heat is rising
close my eyes
warm thoughts of you
fill my head
laying alone
i think of you
and
i ache all over
this bed is lonely without you

Unlocked

i want to be free
no concrete walls
naked
i want you to see
i want to be unlocked
watch the walls dissolve
as you slowly, lovingly
break them down
i want you to see
everything
i want to be free

Gentle

a gentle caress
across my face
i am in
another time and place
when you touch me
i feel no space
between you and i
in between the sheets
the warmth of your kiss

Breath

a quiet rythm
my warm breath
on the back of your neck
watch your body
rise and fall
you are asleep
a peaceful state
perfect

My Greatest Achievement So Far.....

Still looking for my "dream" job. Some days are good, some aren't so good. But, in my typical fashion, I'm keeping a smile on my face and putting out good vibes to the universe.

One of the jobs I applied for this week responded to my application. They asked me to respond to 5 personality questions. The first question was, "What do you think your greatest achievement is so far?". I didn't even have to think twice.

My greatest achievement this far along in life is you, my circle of friends. I've lived in six cities over the last 18 years, and when you live away from your immediate family like I do, you have the privilege of choosing your family and I feel so greatful to have each one of you in my life. You have been there when I've needed you. To me, it's more about quality than quantity. I know that if I need anything at all, I have you to count on. That brings me much happiness.

Thank you for being in my life!

Just out of reach

Just out of reach
One more time
When will I touch it
When will it be mine
I've come close
So many times
There are times I
Sit and cry
It is close
This time around
I pick myself up again
And inspiration I've found
This time I'll grasp
Around my fingers
Never let it go
I'll come out the winner

I Wait

I wait for you
And wonder
Where you are
When will you get here
Are you near
Or are you far
I need your warmth
I need your embrace
Would you wipe my tears
From my face
I wait for you
To hold me tight
Will you be there
In the morning light
And until you come
And I see your face
I'll dream of us
In our special place

Still - A poem For HL

Time is standing still
Peace and quiet
The room now fill
How I wish
To hear your voice
But you are gone
I have no choice

A day will come
One never thinks
In a flash
Gone in a wink

You may be gone
Your journey here is done
Gone but not forgotten
Your final journey has begun

The Morning After - A Poem for Me and M

My eyes are heavy
My body is tired
But not last night
I was on fire!
Good conversation and good wine
Woke up this morning
Not feeling so fine
Fun times were had
In my living room
Sweet dreams were playing
My sleep ended way too soon
That's ok though
It's Friday now
I've got more energy
I'll show you how
Live each moment
With no regret
Life passes quickly
When you fret!

Hoot with the owls

If you're going to hoot with the owls, you've gotta soar with the eagles - know what I mean M? :P)

Wine, 2 crazy people, good music and great conversation. Sums up last night - with one exception - one of us is toughing it out, the other is tuffed out!

I love you M. You are a good friend.

xxoo

Is

is anybody out there???

Decadence - What is to me

Indulging my family and friends
breakfast in bed
having a bath with all the windows open during rain and listening to it fall while i soak
chilling in front of the fireplace
vueve cliquot yellow label
being alone
sleeping in
chocolate icream on robson on a sunny cold saturday afternoon
chocolate
room service
flying first class
5 star hotel suites
tanned skin in the middle of winter
massages - giving and getting
chocolate covered strawberries
dialing 9 to get an outside line from your own home
reading a good novel i can't put down
being the centre of attention
speaking a second language (french is the language of love)
the post hotel
yachting
5 week tropical vacations
personal shoppers
warm towels

Taurus - Week of January 17, 2008

Taurus

"My sensitive and poet friend Carson taught criminals in a penitentiary how to write haiku poems. Novelist Mararet Atwood gave a class on the absurdist writing of Franz Kafka to engineers in BC. And in 2008 I'll ask you to share your gifts with people you've always assumed wouldn't be receptive to you, let alone be able to benefit from your unique talents. Get ready to push past your boundaries in the coming months, Taurus. Extend your sphere of influence and appeal to a larger audience"

I'll take it!

The Clouds Have Parted

Life is short.

I think it's really important that you live every day to it's fullest. Many people go through life with regret about some of the things that they have done. I have a different opinion. The way that I look at my life is that I've enjoyed it. With that being said, I've made some stupid decisions. I made them knowingly. I live in the moment. Carpe diem!

The Clouds Have Parted

The clouds have parted ways
The sun starts to shine
I feel it's warmth
On my head and my eyes
The dark clouds are now leaving
I've weathered the storm
I know now for sure
As I make my way home
Life isn't always easy
And often not fair
I'll open my heart
And start to prepare
For I'm always learning
Life teaches us lessons
To learn how to love
I'm finally making peace
Thanks to the heavens above

Monogamy - In my own words

Monogamy -

One word, so many different opinions. Well, I've decided that I'm going to add my 2 cents worth. I had a conversation with someone who disagrees with monogamy and told me that I should be ashamed that I could actually believe in it. I proceeded to tell him that for me, monogamy is about a connection, and more importantly TRUST. To me, it's the ultimate level of intimacy that you can have with one person; someone you make love with; and in my opinion, you'll get everything you need if you're with the right person.

I know that there are some people here who agree, albeit a very, very few people. I'm just having trouble finding them. Think that I'm going to get a t-shirt made that says "monogamy anyone?" and see what type of reaction I get. haha!

On A Warm Afternoon

This is called "On A Warm Afternoon". Makes me think of a hot July saturday afternoon at my home away from home, Third Beach, minus the palms! haha! This is still a work in progress..almost done! Just a few more touch ups......

G

G..you made me feel like a superstar. Thanks! ;) xo

Rain

Sometimes thoughts of us
Run through my mind
I have a hard time
The words to find
So many feelings
I can't seem to control
Can't clear my head
I'll go for a stroll
The warmth of your smile
Keeps me walking
Mile after mile
They say absence makes
The heart grow fonder
Sometimes I hate the way I feel
And I begin to wonder
Have I said too much
What have I done
I ache to hold you
Under the sun
The weather is clearing
The sun's back in the sky
You've awoken something in me
I thought had died

a dream is being born.......

The Man In the Suit

The man in the suit
Makes his way
He gets to his office
To start a new day
Meetings, emails, conferences
It never ends
He looks out the window
And decides to send
His wishes, his desires
All he wants out of life
Out to the universe
He's tired of living in strife
The man in the suit smiles
And calls it a day
He starts a new journey
He's now on his way
Let it be known to the universe
Exactly what you need
Have an open heart
All good things you'll heed

The Universe Is Calling...

Hello...universe? I'm listening this time. Thanks for the messages. I'm finally feeling that I'm walking down the right path....

Entity

What is wrong
Can’t you see
I’m my one and only
Entity
Do as I say
Do as I do
If you don’t
I’ll make you blue
Attitudes can be contagious
Look at me
I’m outrageous
Don’t look at me in the eye
If you do
I will cry
What is wrong
Can’t you see?
I’m my one and only
Entity

Guardian Angel

On my shoulder
Or by my side
From my angel
I can not hide

Through thick and thin
Through the calm and storm
My guardian angel
Keeps me warm

On my shoulder
Or by my side
From my angel
I can not hide

He wraps me up
In his wings of love
His feathers as white
As a peacful dove

On my shoulder
Or by my side
From my angel
I can not hide

Waiting

Waiting for the phone to ring
A letter, a sign
Just anything
No idea of how long I wait
Or how much I anticipate
I need more
For me there is no doubt
How much longer
Do I wait this out
I lay down my heart
For the taking
I still wait for you
Even though my heart's breaking
There is a time
When it's over and done
How can it be over
Before it's begun

Life is....

"life isn't about finding the perfect person, but finding an imperfect person perfectly"

AMEN!

Ode to Champagne

Tiny Bubbles - By Don Ho

tiny bubbles
in the wine
make me happy
make me feel fine
tiny bubbles
make me warm all over
with the feeling that i’m gonna love you
til the end of time
so here’s to the golden moon
and here’s to the silver sea
and mostly here’s a toast
to you and me
tiny bubbles in the win
make me happy
make me feel fine
tiny bubbles
make me warm all over
with the feeling
that i’m gonna love ya til the end of time

Time

It's time for me to fly!

That's so old!

"That's so old!" a friend recently told me. A friend who is considerably younger than me. "Well, I'm older than you, dinky boy!" I retorted.

I'll be the first to admit, when I was his age, I thought my life would be very different than what it has turned out to be. It's been awhile since I've used a quote, so here it goes, "Life is what happens when you make plans". I have to admit that I had lofty inspirations when I was his age, but I have to say that I'm glad I'm the age I am. I'd like to think that most of us are like a good bottle of wine; we get better with age. Guess that's the difference. When we're young, we think we know so much, when in reality we don't. It's when you get older and look back and say, "I had no idea what I was talking about!"

I try to live my life with no regrets. That's going to be one of my new mantra's...no regrets. Guess I'm getting older.....

The Dancer

Today the creative juices were definitely flowing! I woke up in such a good mood. I actually had the first decent night's sleep this week. I lazily slept until noon. Woke up, read the paper (which I vaguely remember picking up on my way home last night) and saw an article in the paper about it being the anniversary of one of my favorite catchy songs, "The Girl From Ipanema". It actually showed a picture of the lady who inspried the man to write the song. She is now in her early 60's but you wouldn't have any idea at all. She is a true, natural beauty. The song started going in my head, and I went onto youtube and pulled it up. Brigette Bardot is the singer and I must have played it 2o times! (I'm sure that my neighbours must think, WTF?! Ha!) I decided that it was going to be a jazz/bossa nova day, and made my way to HMV. Picked up a new cd from one of my favorite groups called Pink Martini and the name of the cd is called, "Hang On Little Tomato". Definitely recommend it.

I had forgotten to mention that I had started a new painting last night. Well, with all of this good music in my apartment, I decided to pick up the paint and have a go. I started and just finished it a couple of minutes ago. It's called "The Dancer".

Anyone who knows me, knows how much music is a part of my life. It's great therapy for me too! I love to go out dancing. Sometimes I'll close my eyes and feel the music all over me. When I finished this painting, I could see a dancer in it. This is how I see myself with music, the music surrounding me all over. Not sure if you will or not. That's the great thing about art. One picture is worth a thousand words.

Heart In My Hand

Here I sit
Down by the sea
Wondering what
Is wrong with me
What did I do
Or did I say
Why do I feel
Such dismay
All I did
Was open my heart
Now here it is
Torn apart
Why do I love
When will I learn
How many times
Will I get burned
Sometimes I think
I'll never learn
The moral of this poem
Is open up your heart
There's always a chance
With it you'll part

How

how does it feel to know that i love you?

The Monster In Green

The monster in green

Is knocking on my door

He's trying so hard

To put me on the floor

I won't let him in

No matter how hard he tries

He makes people upset

With his jealousy and lies

"You have NO place here!"

I stand and I shout

Life is to short

For envy or doubt

The monster in green

Gives up and goes away

I know I am safe

For another day

Unexpected Surprises

Life can be full of unexpected surprises.

You never know when or where it might happen. I almost missed an unexpected surprise the other day. I had been chatting with someone I had met online. We had been chatting for a couple of weeks and we finally set a date to meet. So, the evening finally came to meet. I was really tired and not feeling well. I wasn't even in the mood to leave my apartment.

I pride myself on being a man of my word. I say what I mean and mean what I say. So, instead of disappointing the person I was supposed to meet, I sucked it up and went. And..what a great unexpected surprise! I can't believe that I almost missed out on the opportunity of getting to spend time with someone really great.

And what would this entry be without a quote. "Life is like a box of choolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

So, the next time that you're thinking of passing something up, think twice. It could be a great, unexpected surprise.

Dealing with Karma

I'm not religious by any sense of traditional values. I always believed, regardless of my parents religion, that you should always be kind, and that kindess pays itself forward. Since moving to Vanocuver well over 2 years ago (July '05), I've had some questions in regards to some of my beliefs. Vancouver is my 6th move in 18 years. I have lived on both coasts and every major city inbetween [Sorry I missed you Montreal! :O] but I was totally unprepared for the gay men of this most beautiful place on earth, Vancouver!

I soon learned the important lessons of being a gay man in the gay mecca west end of Vancouver! Actually, I think that I'm still learning as I go. Another quote (told you I had one for almost every story!) this brings to mind is "if you don't learn from it, you're doomed to repeat it".

I'm not judging here by any stretch of the imagination. Just let me point that out now. Far be it for me to be the judge. I'm just sharing my opinion. A relationship exsists between 2 consenting adults. I believe that as long as these 2 adults communicate what the rules and boundaries are, and are completely honest, then they have the right to have an open relationship. I am old enough and been around long enough to know the difference is between sex and love. For some reason, there seems to be many open relationships (at least that I've come across) here in Vancouver. I'm not an angel by standards, but I've decided that I want someone to myself, and if that makes me unpopular or makes me less dateable or attractive, I don't want you. I think I want sex and love with the same person. Am I old fashioned? Or monogamy is outdated is another famous belief today. I think that monogamy is possible, challenging but possible. I think right now, I'd be happy just to have that one special person in my life!! Always better to be on the good side of karma, right? I'm gonna stick to my guns!

And then the phone rang...

As soon as I finished that last blog, my phone rang, and Christie (my head-hunter) called me to see if I was interested in a 4 week assignment in Richmond. Of course, being a west-end boy, the thought of commuting made me ill - that is until she told me how much money it was! Now, I'm not one to let the mighty dollar rule me, but until I can turn my creative outlet into a full-time position, I took it!

See, put it out there, have an open heart, and it will come. Another quote, "what's meant for you won't pass you by".

The Road To Me

The road to my heart
You have taken
All my love
You have not forsaken
I love you
As far as East is from West
I know our love
Will stand the test
Though the miles be long
And distance keeps us apart
You must know
I love you with all my heart.

*Destiny*

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is something to be achieved, not waited for"

I have quotes for almost any sitaution, but this is by far my favorite ones. I think that your destiny may already be known, but the decisions you make help guide your journey to fulfilling your destiny. This quote is basically saying (at least in my humble opinion) that you're responsible for fulfilling your destiny. I've had periods over the last few years where I felt that I was on the right path, but right now, I feel like I'm going over 100,000rpm in neutral. I'm putting positive energy out there, hoping it will come back to me. I ackknowledge the fact that I am definitely a procrastinator, but I've decided to end that right here and now. I'm tired of the rest area that is beside the path. It's high time to get back on the path!

Window of Opportunity

Here is another piece that I did this past fall called "Window of Opportunity". This piece actually took a fair amount of time, even though it may not look like much. Some paintings that I have done, I've done in a few hours, some in a few days, weeks and even months. This took several weeks. I paint as long as I feel it in me, and sometimes step away until I feel led back. Once again, you see red and black. I feel like I am at a window of opportunity right now. I have no idea as to where I'm going, but this is a great time to be me. Red is hope, black is the unknown, but you see there is a window with red, which represents hope, and even though the window is small, it's mainly hope. This is what I have right now..hope. Reminds me of a saying that I read once, "what's meant for you won't pass you by".

Sonar - Fall 2007

This picture is called "Sonar". I painted it in the fall of 07. This was actually about 3 or 4 different paintings before it ended up looking like this. This is a painting I did after reading "The Secret" last fall. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it is about the laws of attraction; putting what you want out to the universe. You will see a lot of red in my art, especially right now. Red is also one of my favorite colors, and even more since I met my sweet friend Loulu ( her favorite color too!) Red to me represents hope. Black represents the unknown and the white is the future. I'm putting hope out to the universe, and even though there is some unknown, hope is what will come back to me. When I was finished painting it, it kind of reminded me of a sonar. What does it look like to you?

As I Lay - A Poem for A.

As I lay
By your face
I hold your body
In sweet embrace
Sweet silence fills the air
I try so hard
Not to be aware
That this is just a dream
Just can’t be real
From this vision
I’ll never heal.

People - "Dreamer"

I believe that every person that comes into your life, no matter how long or how short, has a purpose for you. Sometimes you know right away why someone has come into your life - yet other times it may not be clear until years after. Guess that it's just part of the journey. I'm at an opportune time in my life. The winds of change are definitely coming my way. Hope that I'm able to welcome it with open arms. I met someone today, just by chance and they did me a world of good. The person I met today gave me exactly what I had been needing for quite some time - intimacy. Not on a sexual level at all - although to be honest, I definitely was attracted; but this was on a cerebral level that I have never experienced with another person, ever! I felt a plethera of emotions, some that I had kept bottled up inside for longer than I care to admit. This is exactly why I felt that I met this person today. He made me realize that some of those emotions are okay to have. I have no idea if I'll ever have any contact again, but I know that I was meant to meet him on this day. After my experience I felt re-energized and recharged...at least for today anyway!

DREAM

Your warm hand
On my face
Seems so long ago
In a different time and place
I yearn for your touch
A sweet caress
You touch my soul
With your tenderness
When I'm with you
Time stands still
Love from you
Is all that I will
Is this a dream
I dare not ask
For I know now
Our time has come to pass

I look forward to the people who will be coming into my life in 2008!

The Secret Poet - The Journey Begins

Hi

Glad that you took the time to stop by. For the first time in a couple of years, I feel my creative juices flowing again, and thought that this time, I want to keep record of the poems, thoughts, and art that I'm creating. I'm in a really exciting new chapter in my life, and I hope that you'll join me in my journey, wherever it takes me. Feel free to add your thoughts, ideas, criticisms as well. Don't hold back, I don't plan on it!

When this journey started a short time ago, I was inspired to write a poem. It's called, "IT". "It" referers to my creativity coming alive after being "asleep" for a couple of years.

"It"

It went to sleep
For quite some time
There was no reason
There was no rhyme
It was missed
More than I knew
Then it awakened
This time something new
A blank canvass
Without touch
Needing now
A painters brush
I’m glad it’s back
With it I won’t part
For know I feel
It
In my heart.

One of the things I love about art, is the fact that every person inteprets it differently. This is what I most enjoy about painting abstract art. I'll eventually have some pics of paintings I've done, so keep checking back.

Namaste,

The Secret Poet